The difference between you and me.
You get to feel your baby moving inside of you.
I get to imagine and long for what that would feel like.
You get to plan your baby shower, decorate your nursery and buy baby clothes.
I get to plan a funeral, pick flowers for the grave and visit the cemetery.
You get to experience labor and in the end hold your beautiful, soft, pink BREATHING baby.
I had to labor and hold my tiny, perfect but lifeless baby.
You get to bring your baby home, hold them, rock them.
I got to bring home .... nothing.
You have pictures of your baby, sleeping, opening their eyes, smiling.
I have pictures of his tiny hands and feet, of his casket and of his grave.
You wonder about the future.
I wonder about what might have been.
-blt
So very true. Thinking of you!
ReplyDeletebig hugs to you Brandi. it's just not fair.
ReplyDelete((hugs))
ReplyDeleteI found this blog as I was looking on the Internet trying to console myself about my miscarriage. Although I don't know you, my heart goes out to you and I am thinking of you. I can't imagine what you are feeling, but I am certain that no one can say anything to ease your pain. I am glad that I found your blog, but I am sad for your pain. I do hope that writing this blog will help you in your healing process...
ReplyDelete